VI

at my 20 mark, I went to go see a band that was significant to me at my 15 mark. the show was a surprise from my good friend cesar because I had it set in my mind that I wasn't going to go. the show was at the orpheum. the orpheum is this really old theater in the heart of downtown los angeles. when I was a little girl my dad would take me to watch three movies while we munched on all of the cheap food they sold. I went back as an adult and all of my memories came back to me. The memory of my father covering my eyes when the sex scenes would arise, his alcoholic breath, and warm touch.
I laughed a little while sitting there waiting for the bands to start, I didn't see jacks mannequin because well...I don't like them. While I sang my little heart to dashboard I realized that at my 20 mark, shit is mos def going to change. I was in the heart of l.a. at 20 when once I was 6 with my father. I'm older but i'm not disappointed, I'm happy. I'm excited for the rest of the year before I hit 21. I'm going to make the most of it and not sulk around about how much harder life is getting.
I'm applying for coffee bean, again. I'm applying for la's best and I hope I get it.
I'm acing my midterms.
-J